They'd never understand
by wombat blainers
Summary: They'd never understand how the littlest touches meant everything to him or how he wished he could offer his hand to Blaine in public and for it to be alright.


Kurt sat neutrally on the medium size wall, his legs swinging and his heels beating softly against watched Blaine who stood a meter or two away from him, bouncing on his heels as he waited in line for an ice cream from the van that was parked on the road opposite them.

The countertenor could feel a light breeze over his arms and travelling through his hair. The sun was still overhead but it'd be getting dark soon. It wasn't hot or cold, it was just right.

Kurt looked over his shoulder, smiling to himself as he saw a large group of people hugging, putting on backpacks and grabbing coats. He didn't know any of them but he didn't need to; he could tell just by looking at the large group of people that they probably didn't see each other very often.

"—You sure you don't want any ice cream?"

Kurt spun his head back around to face his boyfriend, who was looking at him with wide eyes, a half smile on his complacent lips.

The countertenor nodded, his smile now showing. "Positive. It's not hot enough for ice cream anyway."

Blaine's nose twitched, as if he wanted to ask something but then he'd decided against it, turning back around to face the van again. Kurt's eyes unashamedly raked over his boyfriend and his _lovely _features. He was lucky to find someone like Blaine. In fact, Kurt felt lucky just to find another gay guy, let alone one that actually liked him back.

There was a shriek and a giggle from behind him and the countertenor craned his neck towards the groups direction again, curious.

He watched as the guys and girls said their goodbyes, holding on much tighter than what was deemed normal. He looked carefully at the group, noticing how everyone seemed to be looking very happy, yet a few people were tearing up.

Kurt looked at one particular guy and girl who had been hugging since Kurt had first noticed people dispersing from the group.

The girl was small, tiny actually. She was obviously upset; Kurt could see her shoulders shaking. Silently, the countertenor wondered about the story there, wondered why this girl was clutching onto the guy as if she didn't know when she'd see him again. He wondered why the guy with the floppy brown hair held her back in one of the most protective hugs Kurt had seen.

The countertenor smiled as he remembered the feeling of Blaine hugging him goodbye before the Christmas holidays. How protected and cared for he felt in that tight embrace of his boyfriend. He wondered if that's how either of the people over there felt and when they broke away, Kurt analyzed the smiles on their faces, deciding he was correct.

It was exactly how he'd felt when he'd said goodbye to Blaine.

Realizing he must be looking bizarre just opening staring at the group of people that had gotten smaller during the day, he turned had just finished paying for his ice cream and had taken a few steps so he was standing in front of Kurt. Taking a cat-like lick to the melting ice, Blaine pushed it under Kurt's nose and said, "You sure you don't want some? It's very nice."

Kurt rolled his eyes, "No thank you, and care to join me on this wall? It's getting lonely."

The countertenor offered his hand to take the ice cream while Blaine jumped up, taking it back when he was comfortable.

They sat in a peaceful, non awkward silence for awhile.

Kurt could see the tenor licking and eating his ice cream out of the corner of his eye which was very cute. Kurt glanced up to the sky, leaning back on his hands, focusing on memorising this moment.

He noticed when Blaine finished his ice-cream, the final crunches of the cone becoming quieter.

He wiped his mouth with the tips of his fingers and then used the napkin he'd got to clean his fingers. He squished it into a small ball and put it on the wall next to him, planning to chuck it in the bin when they felt like leaving.

Kurt felt Blaine move in closer to him, their hands almost touching.

As Blaine snuggled up to Kurt, the younger boy noticed the guy and the girl he saw hugging earlier walking together in their direction. They were now in a big group of people, who were about to walk past too.

Kurt watched intrigued, not noticing Blaine looking too. The guy with the floppy brown hair looked down at the girl and held out his hand, opening his palm.

Kurt had to bite his lip as he saw the young girl's reaction to this. He wondered if that's what _his _face looked like when Blaine first took his hand.

He hoped so. Her face looked so wonderfully happy that Kurt was sure he could feel it wavering off of her as she interlocked her fingers with the guy's.

The boy looked down at their hands and then looked up to the the two locked eyes, Kurt felt as if he was watching something very personal, silently wondering if that's how it felt for Wes and David when he and Blaine looked at each other like that.

Suddenly, as he noticed the couple's hands swinging, he was aware of how empty his hand felt.

He felt a wave of sadness run through him, knowing that he wouldn't have what those people have. He didn't even know if those people were a couple, but it didn't matter. They could hold hands and not be judged, scowled at, whereas it was dangerous for Kurt and Blaine just to be sitting this close together in public.

Those two people, if they were together, would never understand how close Kurt kept public affection to his heart. It felt like no heterosexual couples would. They'd never understand how the littlest touches meant everything to him or how he wished he could offer his hand to Blaine in public and for it to be alright.

They'd never understand what it's like to have someone you love so close to you yet so far away.

Then Kurt noticed something. The girl whose hand had recently become occupied had looked towards Kurt and Blaine. Her eyes had dropped to their hands and so the countertenor copied her actions and then looked back up expecting her to scowl or something.

Instead she sent him a smile and nodded slightly, as if to say '_hold his hand, I don't care_'- or maybe that was just Kurt's wishful thinking.

However he did notice something; he noticed how she looked at the guy she was with, leaning in close and then swinging their arms. She looked almost sad.

Maybe that girl did know what it felt like, to have someone so close to you, yet so far away.

Kurt ignored the look that Blaine was sending him as he held his hand.

The group had nearly completely passed now, but before it did he noticed how none of them looked their way because they didn't care if Kurt and Blaine were holding hands. They were too involved in each other and Kurt wondered why but then he realized he already knew.

In that group everyone loved someone an equal amount.

They didn't care if Blaine and he held hands as long as they were allowed to hold hands as well. Figuring these people didn't belong in Ohio, this gave Kurt a sense of hope. Hope that he should one day be able to be as public as he wished.

As he watched the young girl and the guy with floppy brown hair disappear into the distance, he wondered what story was also silently wondered if that girl, who had given him that encouraging smile, wondered the same thing about him and Blaine.

"Ready to go?" Blaine asked softly, holding his hand out like he'd done when they'd first met.

Kurt allowed his hand to slip into Blaine's and the tenor pulled him down lightly, "Yeah, let's go."

However, instead of letting Blaine's hand drop, Kurt continued to hold onto it, giving it a comfortable squeeze. A squeeze that was full of wishing, that one day everyone would be like that group that had walked past, they wouldn't care.

They'd just be happy to be in the company of their friends, not caring what the two males were doing off in the corner.

It really gave Kurt hope.

* * *

><p><strong>A:N: If no one picked it up, i'm that girl holding hands with the guy. Everything i wrote about those two was accurate, well from my perception anyway. Obviously I didn't see two guys snuggled up on the wall, but i did see two guys cuddling on a field. I didn't smile at them and say 'go on' obviously they can, but i smiled at them. (It was so insanely adorable)**

**Everyone has a story. Just as Kurt wondered about the girl and the guys i wondered about theirs, hence the reason for writing this.**

I really like this, it says a lot about my own personal feelings at the moment.

**Even so, i just hope that one day everyone will be treated as equals. That sounds as if i'm running for president or whatever, but it's true. You should be able to hold hands, kiss, hang out with anyone you like, be the same gender or not. **


End file.
